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Breaking News: Luigi Not Dead

Classic Luigi Fig Play Super Retro Nintendo

We Can Rest Easy Now.

Nintendo’s Smash Direct conference video that premiered yesterday at the 2018 Evolution Tournament brought lots of new details about the upcoming game Super Smash Bros Ultimate for the Nintendo Switch.

The first CG trailer showed Luigi running around through one of the castles of the Castlevania series, and attempting to use the tricks and tools he uses in Luigi’s Mansion against the monsters and mummies wandering the halls of this spooky castle.

He fires a plunger at an oncoming mummy. It falls off the mummy’s face and does nothing. Luigi may be a bit out of his league here.

He runs away screaming, getting spooked along the way by a few other statues and serpents, only to find himself face-to-face with death himself.

Luigi lets out one final scream, and appears to faint in terror. But just as his tiny body is about to hit the ground, Death rears back its scythe and TEARS LUIGI’S SOUL CLEAN OUT OF HIS BODY.

But before Death gets a chance to celebrate his victory, an iconic flail appears from off-screen to clobber the skeletal beast. It’s Simon Belmont. And he’s in Smash Bros! But more importantly — Luigi!

A final shot of the CG trailer shows Luigi’s soul looking concerned over his body, before a giant mask covers a nearby window and spooks Luigi’s spirit form. It doesn’t seem like he’ll be resting in peace any time soon.

After the buzz began to die down from all the information revealed in the Smash Direct footage – which you should read up on if you haven’t already – fans began to worry about the health and safety of Mario’s favorite green companion.

But luckily, Nintendo has come onto the scene to quell our fears.

Feel that, folks? That’s the feeling of a weight lifting off your chest. That’s the feeling of peace enveloping your soul, as the worry leaves your mind. We can rest easy now. Luigi is safe.

Interestingly enough, however, Nintendo did not care to confirm the safety of Mario or Megaman, who were lost to Ridley in Smash Ultimate’s first character reveal trailer.

Megaman got speared by Ridley’s tail…

And Mario was carried off by its claws.

Here’s Ridley, holding the plumber’s hat as a trophy.

There seems to be a theme going on in Smash Ultimate’s character reveal trailers. For example, the final reveal trailer of the Direct showed Donkey Kong rival K Rool, who demolished Kind Dedede with his opening strike. Dedede was never seen again in the trailer, so his fate remains uncertain.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to beloved Nintendo characters. May you escape the clutches of death like your friend and brother Luigi.

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Maya Asregadoo

    August 11, 2018 at 12:42 am

    The fact that the tweet doesn’t contain any punctuation somehow only makes it funnier.

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