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Teen Gets Struck By Lightning, Will Probably Get Superpowers Soon

Mild-mannered Arizonian teen Josh Wieldman was walking through a park, when the sky turned cloudy, and rain began to fall. According to an interview with the teen by Fox News, the teen’s thought process was as follows:

“It started kinda raining, so I was going home.”

Good thinking there, Josh.

But your superhero story has only just begun: the teen’s journey home was quickly interrupted by a bolt from the heavens, and everything went dark.

The bolt also arced off of Josh and struck his friend, Javier Tapia, as well. However, Javier was not in as serious danger as Josh, and emerged mostly unharmed.

As for Josh: While the bolt itself didn’t do much harm, as anyone familiar with lightning strikes will know, the most dangerous part of being struck by lightning is what happened afterwards.

The most immediate effect was that of a 13-year-old boy losing consciousness on the spot, falling to the ground and getting a concussion as his head hit the concrete beneath him. A concussion that was on the brink of not mattering at all, as the strike had done what strikes like this (unfortunately) do very well: Interrupted his heart’s rhythm and caused him to enter a state of cardiac arrest.

This origin story may very well have been cut short, if not for a witness coming out of nowhere to deliver CPR to young Josh. The witness, who has been credited by many to have been the one who saved Josh’s life, has for some reason not been identified by sources.

After being escorted to the hospital, the boy was admitted, and then released with surprising speed. He was released from the hospital on Monday.

As if to seal the deal, Josh mentioned in an interview that he’s shocked to have “beat death” after the strike, and that he “feels like Superman” now that his incredible story has come to an end.

Or has it?

All this sounds oddly familiar. Although ‘Josh Wieldman’ isn’t as smooth of a name as something like, say, Peter Parker or Barry Allen, the story does share remarkable similarities to those of more famous comic characters. A ‘normal’ life? An ‘extraordinary’ event? An event that can sometimes be lethal, but in this case, the person in question made a surprisingly fast recovery?

It’s not quite as obvious as a vat of toxic waste, but with new eco-friendly methods of waste disposal being pushed to governments around the world every day, such vats may very well be a thing of the past.

And what about that “mysterious stranger” who just “happened” to be nearby to administer the CPR that saved Josh’s life? Pretty strange how the person who is quite possibly the most important face of this story gets by without a face – or a name – to be found. Almost as if they had something to hide. Like they knew something…

I’ll be keeping an ear out for more updates on the appearance of a “mysterious vigilante” within the next few months. And I’ll do my best to stay quiet about his “secret identity”.

Because after being struck by lightning and making such an incredibly fast recovery, I’ve got a feeling that the story of Josh Wieldman is just getting started.

Featured Image Via Flickr / Frank Gumpert

4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Alyssa

    August 19, 2018 at 1:11 am

    Wow, this is insane. I’m glad the boy is okay at least

  2. Madeline LePage

    August 20, 2018 at 2:21 pm

    happy to hear that the boy is ok

  3. Caroline Walker

    August 20, 2018 at 8:31 pm

    Good thing he’s okay, or this article would not be as funny as it is

  4. Maya Asregadoo

    August 22, 2018 at 9:05 pm

    Hilarious article, but scary situation overall.

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