The latest monthly content package for Grand Theft Auto Online has just hit the shelves. Here’s everything you’ll need to know to expand your crime ring into the world of underground disco dance clubs.

  1. The Clubs

There’s a total of ten clubs available for purchase with the new update, all of which are delectable via the Maze Bank Foreclosure section of the game’s internet. You can check out the spaces via your mobile phone or any in-game laptop, after you’ve completed a bit of story to get you in the business, of course.

According to Rockstar Intel, club prices range from slightly over 1 million dollars at the cheapest to 1.7 million at the most expensive. The more expensive clubs are in nicer parts of town, feature slightly different layouts that look better with enhanced disco lighting, and more. And since the best option only costs 70% more than the cheapest, you’ll probably want to save for that. Or, you could go for the second or third highest options, if you don’t want to own the exact same club as a few of your friends.

But open up that pocket book: As anyone who’s ventured down GTA 5’s more lucrative options should know, the real cost comes in the customization options available, not in the upfront price. According to Twitter user Nuro, a purchase of all the most expensive options in the game should cost a person upwards of $5 million total – a pretty penny to say the least.

In fact, if one were to use the prices of GTA V’s microtransaction shark cards for a conversion rate on currency, a fully maxxed-out club is worth about $75 real cash. Ouch.

2. The DJ’s

Good DJ’s don’t work for free – after all, who does? To get a DJ in your GTA V nightclub, you’ll need to do a few favors for them first, which is where the majority of the mission content of this addon comes into play. What’s even funnier about these missions, however, is that some of these DJs – The Black Madonna, for example – are real artists and people who’ve written songs exclusively for this nightclub update. getting to bust real-life personalities out of gang fights and police raids is a hilarious bonus, to be sure.

According to Rockstar, once a DJ’s missions are completed, they’ll seamlessly switch over to running your club – a club that will not only look cool, but will also make you a pretty penny in the background. You can set an entry fee for other players to enter your club, up to $100 per person. That’s pocket change in GTA terms, but the real profit will come from the NPC’s using the club nonstop, rather than what you’ll make of off your friends or that random dude in an online lobby.

3. Free Bonus!

As with many of GTA Online’s other larger updates, this one gives every player a small hit of starter cash to start them out, or to encourage them to drop back into the virtual playground. This time, the bonus is $350,000, according to the Rockstar Newswire. That’s enough for three whole bottles of champagne at your club’s drink bar.

4. Yes, you read that correctly.

This update also introduces even more ludicrous ways for players with too much gosh-darn money to blow it all away. The premium Blêuter’d Champagne brand is the only drink option at your bar that’s not on the house, and the most expensive beverage – the Blêuter’d Diamond – costs $150,000.

We don’t know what happens when you buy one of these babies, but it better be good. Like, seriously, seriously good. Please Rockstar, give us a reason to buy a beverage that costs as much as a sports car.

Or at least some reason other than, “Man, all this money is really weighing me down.”

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I’m a nerd with a wild sense of humor. I’m very good at running tabletop games (Like Dungeons & Dragons), or at least that’s what my players would tell you. I spend about as much time writing new content for those games as I do working on jobs or internships, and love every second of it. I'm a lover of dogs and mint chocolate chip, and my favorite dinosaur is the ankylosaurus. I also play racquetball with friends at least four times a week, go to the gym six times a week, and go for jogs around the neighborhood when I have time, because health is important and stuff. Eat them greens, yo.
  • Alyssa

    This is crazy, people would spend that much on a nightclub

  • Caroline Walker

    When did GTA turn from a car chase game to party planning?